Traveling with Kids

[00:00:00] So our child is seven, like Neil said. He's never traveled internationally before.

[00:00:04] So this is his first international trip. So we were trying to think of something that would be a good,

[00:00:08] I want to say starter trip, like comfortable. That would be an easier, you know, to get around

[00:00:13] and navigate what do you say? That's true. And we want him, we want our somebody experience

[00:00:17] and needs all those experiences because we kind of feel like going overseas, it's really going to

[00:00:22] open your eyes to a lot of things. And so having him do it at seven years old and whether like

[00:00:26] two or three countries already, it's just like, it's mind boggling.

[00:00:41] Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Rhythm and Roam with your hosts, myself Benef.

[00:00:47] We have Paul, we have Trecia and we are delighted to be here today with another interesting

[00:00:53] episode where we discuss our travel adventures and explore cultural differences, similarities,

[00:00:58] misconceptions, and all the craziness in between. So get ready for a passport, knuckle ride.

[00:01:03] And of course, if you enjoy our show, please like and subscribe and share with your friends

[00:01:08] and family. We really appreciate your support. All right today we are talking about traveling

[00:01:14] with kids and all the things that that brings because it's not just babies or toddlers or

[00:01:22] middle schoolers. We're also talking about all ages of children. So it could be high school,

[00:01:27] adult children. Yeah, the experiences of I don't know, well, I guess just it's crazy if I if I can

[00:01:36] just throw out there. I think this will probably negate me from talking much because I intend to

[00:01:42] talk a lot. So because I don't have my own but I do have experiences that you know that I

[00:01:48] know of and then traveling with with family member, you know, my nieces and nephews which

[00:01:53] I do have a story that we can get to sometime. Yeah, I mean you've seen kids. Oh yeah.

[00:02:00] I'm sure you have questions or those parents struggling with a toddler that doesn't want to sit.

[00:02:06] What I want to do is I want to just sit back and just have some popcorn and enjoy the ride of

[00:02:11] you guys telling us your stories as moms traveling with your kids and what are what are some I

[00:02:18] guess do we say what are some of the do's and don'ts or or be aware of or stuff like this travels.

[00:02:25] There's any do's or don'ts. Yeah, I know because I really think maybe if we like progress through

[00:02:31] the ages because traveling with an infant is very very different than toddler elementary. I mean

[00:02:38] it's an infant it's like they can be really easy. I mean if they sleep the whole way

[00:02:45] but there's so much crap you gotta bring and clearly an infant isn't carrying it so it's just like

[00:02:51] trying to get through security especially if you're you know alone with the infant and

[00:02:57] like you've got like 75 different things that are just for that child and you're trying to carry it

[00:03:01] all and it's like and then our seat like all goes on to the conveyor belt and now you're

[00:03:08] just like stuck with a kid but I'm like trying to like unstrap everything and I don't have another

[00:03:14] hand to like hold the child. I think I like looked at the TSA lady and she was like I can't hold

[00:03:22] Can I just be controversial then? Can I just be controversial and say why do it?

[00:03:28] Why travel? No, why travel with a kid at a certain like why shouldn't we travel

[00:03:35] because it's a pain it's not like the kid is going to remember that you went to Jamaica

[00:03:39] or you went to the Bahamas at Google. That means I'm changing my entire lifestyle because of this

[00:03:45] child instead of incorporating the child into my lifestyle and I mean obviously I'm not going to

[00:03:51] continue partying going out clubs late at night and bring the the kid but if I want to still

[00:03:57] enjoy travel does that mean I don't travel until what age? No it means that you leave the kids

[00:04:03] with the grandparents and you can travel until the kid gets to about five years old where

[00:04:07] assuming you have grandparents that are able and willing to do this or family members exactly I was

[00:04:12] just going to say that or family members that would be willing and able to do that as well. It's not

[00:04:16] like a dog. It's not that easy. Leave the dog and just be like oh color a cat come over and

[00:04:22] watch. I did put a disclaimer that I was going to be controversial so I'm just saying yeah it's

[00:04:31] not like they're going to remember. It doesn't work that way. Work that way.

[00:04:35] But yeah I get it I get it because I'm an Asian. It's a lot of work. Not to mention you may not

[00:04:40] necessarily want to leave your child with family member or a grandparent but if you can't trust

[00:04:46] them not everyone has an Asian you know parents. Yeah so don't travel. But don't travel. That's the

[00:04:53] oh you did not just say that like you're like never travel for the next 18 years. No I didn't

[00:05:00] say that. I said until the next four years. What does that make it easier traveling with a four-year-old

[00:05:06] that now could of course because he can walk he or she can walk on her you know next to you instead

[00:05:11] of a you know stroller and how far can a four-year-old actually walk before they get tired?

[00:05:19] When I see him in the airport I just avoid them.

[00:05:22] Yeah you're gonna be really liked this episode. Well they may not be traveling out of necessity

[00:05:33] as well. Yeah exactly yeah it may not just be for leisure. They may actually have to be getting

[00:05:38] somewhere from one point to another. Exactly. Perhaps they're deploying and their husbands are

[00:05:44] gone and they gotta see us somewhere by themselves. You know that happened. No I

[00:05:50] am not. Wow my experience I actually did not travel with young children. Part of it was I was

[00:06:03] nervous about doing that and trying to make that happen for myself and part of it was financially as

[00:06:10] well because by the time I think before because I had a little child and then I had my two younger

[00:06:19] ones because my oldest and my middle and youngest are the differences in ages are best. So although I

[00:06:27] had an older child financially it was just a plain ticket for three kids myself you know my husband

[00:06:33] yeah it was just a lot so I actually didn't start traveling with my children until I guess they were

[00:06:42] about I want to say my youngest was probably about eight. I didn't travel internationally we traveled

[00:06:52] within the United States with in a car so if we were to talk about those stories. Well that's yeah

[00:06:59] but the car travel is also very challenging oh my god. Yes one year and two weeks on the road

[00:07:07] so with I think the 16 year olds 16 year old of a four year old and a one and a half year old.

[00:07:18] But the difference is the pain is only you guys the pain is not affecting the community or the

[00:07:23] people. Well and so let's talk about that yeah like how you said the pain is affecting the other

[00:07:30] people and should I care about that as a pain it like yes you should because it shows manners.

[00:07:37] Well yes it shows manners that I care but if I cannot stop my child from crying is that now my

[00:07:43] fault. Excuse you. And do I have to excuse you Paul what do you mean stop your child from crying.

[00:07:50] Well do you think I can control no no do you think I can control sometimes sometimes

[00:07:56] sometimes babies all I know is my mom predictable. I'm not going to beat the child in public or ever

[00:08:03] so stop it with that right there that you're telling me Paul. I did not say to beat your child

[00:08:09] I'm just telling you what happened. You're like you're ahead. No first of all my mom didn't just

[00:08:17] up and beat us what I'm saying is first they gave I don't know maybe it could be

[00:08:22] difference in culture but my mom gave me the side eye and you used to get that talk in the car

[00:08:28] don't ask for nothing don't say nothing I don't want you be requesting anything when we get into

[00:08:34] this store and you know what I did I didn't do none of that shit. Well that's because you

[00:08:39] understood the words but if you're dealing with like a two-year-old that doesn't understand why

[00:08:44] they are trapped in this metal thing but now if I was a big toddler when like I would say

[00:08:52] you remember five years old is not toddler five years old four years old five years old I'm talking

[00:08:57] about when I was young where I was walking around and I did my first type of tantrum in Toys R Us but

[00:09:03] you remember I'm talking about being too they don't have the cognitive ability to understand

[00:09:09] what is happening no it's very hard training them to say no bad stop there's certain

[00:09:15] now there's certain things well there's certain things that as parents that we do right we we

[00:09:20] know the mannerisms of our of our children and and I'm sure many parents try to make sure that

[00:09:28] that they don't want to go through that experience and then the looks and the and the stairs because

[00:09:33] their child so they try to do things to coddle the you know make sure you feed them so they'll

[00:09:37] sleep through the flight or you know make sure you have snacks make sure you have

[00:09:42] you know things that that will keep them busy so they can't run up and down the aisle

[00:09:47] then it goes to the exactly the point that I made earlier that you just

[00:09:51] told me not to hold you're saying don't travel yes you just said you just said exactly what I was

[00:09:58] just saying wait until they can understand and then you do the travel maybe you do

[00:10:04] travel that's not always necessary that's not always feasible and yeah what I'm saying is

[00:10:11] maybe you do smaller trips where it's only two hours down the road versus three six hours

[00:10:18] plane or train ride because like you said a child is still developing and if you don't want to get

[00:10:26] embarrassed in public and and I guess it's like should I be embarrassed but yeah I don't know

[00:10:33] if I should be embarrassed but I do have experience seeing people and I feel bad for them

[00:10:38] and I want to be I'm trying to be I'm not trying to be controversial but I am trying to

[00:10:42] be controversial because it's embarrassing that you know when you have those toddlers like I see

[00:10:48] them rolling around in on the dirty ground or they're doing the most Bart Simpson shit

[00:10:54] and I'm just like lady your kid is about to get electrocuted like what are you doing or

[00:10:59] your kid is sticking his hands somewhere and then like so part of part of that I will admit part of

[00:11:09] that has to do with with training right that's part of that does have to do what I said earlier

[00:11:15] but but again children will try things you know they will try things they especially if they're

[00:11:22] they will and they will continue to test you it just happens right but most of the time

[00:11:28] yeah most of the time I don't see the kid doing any correct I mean the the parents doing any

[00:11:32] correction action at the time of the situation and that could be that could be their parenting skills

[00:11:37] you know that that are coming into play in in that situation I totally get it yeah I totally get

[00:11:43] it and like I said I will help out if I for example there was a kid because I've been on

[00:11:49] planes where the kid is just crying the whole flight you know and I feel bad for the mother

[00:11:54] because I could see the face and if if obviously if the kid was next to me I would try to help the

[00:12:01] parent out as much as I can I actually did help a mom out with her little goober who wasn't crying

[00:12:07] but she was literally clearly trying to put her shit up and stuff like this yeah whatever and she

[00:12:13] had to go use the bathroom like because she can't just take the goober in the but you can't

[00:12:19] but it is extremely difficult while holding a baby exactly we were talking even at home yeah

[00:12:26] we got the talking and stuff like that and then I guess she felt comfortable enough and I was like

[00:12:31] look if you need to go use the bathroom you know I have 15 nieces and nephews I'm happy to hold

[00:12:35] your kid while you go use the bathroom ain't like I'm gonna be running off the damn plane to

[00:12:39] kidnap your kid so you know I get it very nice of you Paul well that's it's compassion and

[00:12:46] that's the key is to have compassion because you know something is going on like most people are not

[00:12:52] just like exactly you get those kids that kick your seat in the back I've had that is annoying yeah

[00:12:58] and that is super annoying and then the parent is right there and not correcting it that I that I

[00:13:04] will say that that needs to be corrected that that's that is a behavior yes and what do we

[00:13:10] what do we do because sometimes I'm just like oh do I say something do I not say something

[00:13:14] or well the flight I guess the proper thing to do with would be to tell the flight attendant

[00:13:20] and let them flight attendant handle it you know what the flight attendant like or if you're like me

[00:13:25] I'll say excuse me but your son or who's you know identify what I do parents are and say

[00:13:34] unfortunately he keeps kicking and I'm trying to sleep or I'm trying to rest here would you

[00:13:38] mind yeah and having them correct it first I just come from kid first I confront the kid first

[00:13:44] because no I have to that no they kick they're kicking and then I turn around playfully and

[00:13:54] I'm like no no no that's bad no no no no no no now if he just continued to do it thinking

[00:14:00] that I'm joking with him then I say hey mom dad yo get your kid well I am interested to hear

[00:14:10] what the listeners like how I'm sure they have I'm sure they've had a lot to talk about because

[00:14:16] it is it's just not easy and like I'm gonna get a lot of hate mail on that one because

[00:14:21] it's like you don't know you need to just shut up your friends this was this was their first

[00:14:27] international travel with Reed with their child and he's seven he's seven years old

[00:14:35] and he matter of fact he gave some good advice which yeah yeah it was pretty good

[00:14:40] what are some things you want to let other kids know they did want to do their traveling

[00:14:47] probably draw go to bed for a little bit um watch movies play if they have a video game

[00:14:58] or when the food comes out you can eat or drink some things I like to do um yeah that's all I

[00:15:05] like to think of okay but he's he's very but he's although he's seven he's very he's very mature

[00:15:13] you know what I mean I feel like he you know his his perspective was as an adult kid you know

[00:15:21] and this is where I said oh my gosh you're so adorable parents his parents obviously trained

[00:15:26] him or I don't know if that's the right word they're rearing him they're they're raising him

[00:15:32] training a dog right no so yeah raising him correctly I mean he's also a prior military

[00:15:44] officer too as well so I suspect some of that military mannerism and training is also part of it

[00:15:54] it can be useful especially when it comes to to planning and just having um like backup plans

[00:16:03] planning enough time to get places so all of that has to be factored in with a kid because

[00:16:09] it's just going to take longer than you would normally expect and if it doesn't amazing but

[00:16:14] me two to three things that you think a family or you know a spouse traveling with kids um from

[00:16:25] goober to maybe teen I think teen is probably the easiest to travel with because they're gonna

[00:16:30] listen to you they got their headset on and and their iphone together but what are some

[00:16:35] some some of the tips that you would want to have open so that people can tell you and then

[00:16:42] I'm sure some people in the audience would probably add to those tips too as well I don't care who starts

[00:16:49] having like snacks lots of things to do allowing them to sleep because no stop but some people do that

[00:17:00] you know they do um but like because it's like um like a tripod right you've got the hunger factor

[00:17:07] the fatigue factor and like the temperature right and if one of those things is taken out one of those

[00:17:12] legs then like now the kids like teterine on just two but you take out two now they're hungry and

[00:17:18] tired and they're gonna crash all right so you have to have those because they just aren't

[00:17:24] frontal lobe enough to be like I'm hungry enough in advance or I'm tired are you saying this in

[00:17:31] general are you saying this in general or are you saying this for a little toddlers I am saying

[00:17:35] this for probably up to elementary middle you know but to the point before they like seventh eighth

[00:17:45] ninth and on like you you're doing a lot of the planning for them as the parent to ensure that

[00:17:52] they're taken care of and then once they start to reach the age where they want to have independent

[00:17:59] action that's 13 ish yeah I mean ish yeah we're now they have like the opinions on where they want to go

[00:18:08] and then it's like the switch of now I need to start including them in the planning process

[00:18:13] because I wasn't and you know Vila my daughter especially had opinions about like just not

[00:18:20] wanting to go and I'm like god damn it I just paid like all this money and now she

[00:18:23] doesn't want to fucking go you didn't ask her that I did not I did not and this would have been eighth

[00:18:28] grade and I was like right and is it fair do you need to ask your kids these questions because I

[00:18:33] know I had no there was no equality in my household when I was a kid there is a difference between

[00:18:39] what people think kids role is like are they just the the just the the beings that you raise

[00:18:46] that you know do everything that you say or are you allowing them to have some participation

[00:18:51] yeah some opinion or family yeah is that here's here's here's the other thing that I that I did

[00:18:58] when traveling and even with you know even with my my kids being smaller and you know toddler age

[00:19:05] through all the way really threw up through high school is you know I tried to pick first of all

[00:19:13] you know knowing the habits of my children I also tried to choose for at best as I could

[00:19:19] um a schedule that I thought that would be advantageous to all of us meaning their schedule

[00:19:27] and how they react as far as where we could stop when I knew you know we'd be hungry or

[00:19:33] you know or if we needed to maybe arrange a flight that was around a time that I knew that

[00:19:40] you know energy would be high and everyone would be happy you know what I'm saying like I

[00:19:44] tried to choose you know those times because it made it easier on me because I'm the one that you know

[00:19:51] for the most part was responsible for the children so planning those things around the time when it would

[00:19:57] be best or receive the best was important but I think it was the same I'd like to do this I mean

[00:20:05] I think it was the same even when I was grown up to as well that same thing you just said

[00:20:10] Trisha is just that it was it was prior plan like my parents or my mom would be like okay get your

[00:20:16] clothes ready get this ready we're gonna go here we're gonna do this okay but if I was to say

[00:20:22] but I don't want to go that's not a good discussion that's not a discussion well so but

[00:20:29] that that's why like I now try to include that in the decision prior to me doing any arrangements

[00:20:38] so it's like that's the difference there was no discussion yeah right like there's no discussion

[00:20:43] I'm willing to go to any one of these places but what I don't want is to go somewhere and have them

[00:20:50] be assholes so it's like if they're more comfortable going you know to we didn't have a chance to be an

[00:20:56] asshole that's because you keep talking about the draconian like but you say you keep saying

[00:21:03] draconian but I can tell you there's certain places to an extent okay so yeah but I mean but

[00:21:11] okay so look I came from a single parent you know for a single single uh you know mother

[00:21:16] I had a single mom I came from a single parent home so me too the situation is I yeah I didn't

[00:21:21] have a lot of I didn't have a lot of travel opportunities necessarily to travel with my

[00:21:26] mom but when I did I did go where she went but it was also I was also in in in the aspect of

[00:21:35] well my mother was going so I had to go it's just the way it is it's different now right

[00:21:41] we're trying to especially when your kids get to a certain age you want to incorporate them right

[00:21:46] because again for deaf it's it's self-preservation you don't want that you know you don't want

[00:21:51] them to be in touch with you you don't want them to you know you want peace of mind you know when

[00:21:56] you're going on that trip because what makes you what makes you think that it wasn't incorporated back

[00:22:00] in the old days with us like my parents said no we're going to Florida because of because of

[00:22:04] what you're saying because of well it's because what I'm saying is for example they'll say

[00:22:09] we're going to Florida because we got relatives in Florida if I was to say but I don't want

[00:22:14] to go because I want to do xyz no you're going because and such as such is going to be getting

[00:22:21] married and you need to go well that's the reason why no but that's a different situation I don't care

[00:22:30] about going for wednesday yeah leisure travel versus family obligations that that just happens

[00:22:36] you know sorry your government okay it could be let's let's say because we're going to disney

[00:22:41] world maybe I don't want to go to disney world and I just want to stay home and hang out with my

[00:22:48] with my with my sega nintendo game and play with my friends because you know when you're

[00:22:55] at a certain age that is the number one thing I don't want to go do it don't know too many kids

[00:23:00] that don't want to go to disney world but yeah as a teen I was not well me personally I was not

[00:23:05] a big fan of disney world once I hit my teens I mean I wish I honestly wish that I did have those

[00:23:11] opportunities but I don't want people to think because the draconians like you said is bad I don't

[00:23:19] think it's bad it's just that there's other opportunities and other ways of doing things

[00:23:25] look but you know what a lot of us would be doing crazy shit and well it's just the role that

[00:23:32] I mean the how much it's not like the children have they they have the last say on anything I mean

[00:23:41] until they're exactly yeah I mean I'm we're still some people do have the kids have the

[00:23:47] have the but we include them because they're part of the family and I feel that it's important

[00:23:52] that they also enjoy the trip I mean I can voice my opinion whether or not it's going to be

[00:23:59] overruled it now you bring up you do bring up a good point because I had the amount of children

[00:24:07] in the family so I'm interested to hear some different opinions from our listeners versus

[00:24:12] I agree one child two three four up to you had nine right Paul like traveling with the baby

[00:24:19] yeah yeah plane tickets for you know 10 11 people is like I remember I want to charter your own

[00:24:26] damn plane for that we did that one time we did that one time flying from New York to to to Miami

[00:24:33] and we look like you remember the movie Home Alone we look like that family doing Home Alone

[00:24:39] and I never forget because my brother end up my mom told my brother to it was a funny story to

[00:24:46] call a cab service you know so that we can get a cab early in the morning what shows up in

[00:24:52] front of our house a freaking lemon passenger a limousine oh my god taxis yeah yeah to get

[00:25:00] maybe I thought maybe the wrong part showed up like that's not what my mom asked for my mom asked

[00:25:05] for the super shuttle bus I don't know if you remember that uh those vans it's like yes eight

[00:25:11] passenger van taxi did you guys ride the limo or are you sending away because that was the only

[00:25:17] thing because we had to get to the airport it was expensive but we had to get to the airport I bet

[00:25:22] and of all of us were in there like yo we're rich I think now I think parenting you know at least

[00:25:31] at least in my household we try to incorporate that long you know that when the kids got to a

[00:25:36] certain age and I think that was just for us um because as our kids got older and knowing that they

[00:25:42] would go away you know to college and that sort of thing we wanted them to to to be able to advocate

[00:25:48] for themselves to to be independent to do those things so we tried to incorporate them to you

[00:25:55] know certain decisions the benefits of young children being able to actually see beyond their

[00:26:01] neighborhood yes their town is amazing it's huge because my children don't feel 100 percent American

[00:26:09] like they've seen so much of the world that they're it's an education level yeah like they're

[00:26:15] absolutely excited about different cultures different ideas you know they're it's it's normal to them

[00:26:22] than just exactly seeing what um you know their own town or their own county so I think like that is

[00:26:30] something that I want to reason why people I mean there are parents that just like

[00:26:35] you know homeschool their kids and go off on like a freaking Winnebago all over the world

[00:26:40] for that reason and I think that's the biggest gift that you can give your children is the

[00:26:44] gift of travel because it as you said Beneth earlier um you know it's a it's a big world out

[00:26:52] here and the moment that they are able to leave the the uh the confines of where they you know

[00:27:00] their home or where they the people that they know or that are like them and they go out and see

[00:27:05] something different now their world has changed yeah so um I think that's the best gift that you

[00:27:10] can give your children it's not materialistic things it's it's memories it's travel it's the

[00:27:17] the gift of being able to interact and know different people so Trisha I agree with you I

[00:27:25] think that that is one of the things that we really wanted to give our children and I think they

[00:27:31] have benefit from it they really do have an appreciation for other cultures and just exploring

[00:27:38] wanting to see different things it continues um 100 agree I can and and from the single man's

[00:27:45] point of view I appreciate you guys opening up on this because I obviously see things from a

[00:27:51] different perspective and different lens and it's from the lens of a single man and now I know when

[00:27:57] I'm in an airport and I see uh you know someone that's screaming or whatever like this I know why

[00:28:04] and I gotta you know not be all aggravated and stuff like that and just not think that they

[00:28:10] don't have any home training because that's the first thing that comes to my mind is clearly

[00:28:14] didn't get any home training and they just spoiled the shit out of these kids so thank you guys

[00:28:19] yes now thank you guys for giving me a point of views yeah yeah well and of course we want to

[00:28:25] thank our listeners for listening or watching this podcast please continue to tune in subscribe

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